Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
