last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
