it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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