Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
