even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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