me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
