I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
