You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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