Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
