She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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