Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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