You can't motorboat a personality
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
