have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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