i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
