Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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