i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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