I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
