Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
