I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
