This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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