he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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