This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
