you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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