come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm having to shit out rocks
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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