brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
