I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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