don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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