I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
