i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
