I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
