he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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