His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
