i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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