Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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