16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
