Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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