Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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