you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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