stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
