I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
