...so i touched it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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