If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
