Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
