I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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