I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
