I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
