Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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