Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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