she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
