Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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