I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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