So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
