That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
