I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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