i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
